Monday, April 30, 2012

Domestic fights are divine

Hobbs and I are not the only couple who is constantly fighting for dominance in the house.There is one more couple who is embroiled in this fight for supremacy.The only difference in the two fights is that one can be heard loud and clear and the other is  a non-verbal duel held strictly behind closed doors.Unbelievable but true!

I am neither talking about my elderly in-laws on their triannual visits nor my parents here.In both the cases,the fights have become rare albeit louder with advancing age .What is a fight which can not be heard especially by the opponent.My MIL secures her hubby's hearing aids in place before she goes full-on.Dad has convenient, selective hearing genes so he switches off somewhere in between mom's sermon and after a while all is well.However,when the tables are turned and the males are enraged, both women can be seen with their noses buried inside tabloids/newspapers/religious texts, depending on the gravity of the situation.

A little peek into the background of the battleground (my abode) is essential before I talk about the actual conflict.
The Rajasthani-Maharashtrian melee is very common at my house but 'states' don't matter and feature at all  in our disagreements.The kitchen however and the house helps have to switch modes with each impending parental visit .Be it,no-kanda-lasun-mirch-masala cooking to extra tadka-kanda-lasun or lunch at 11.30am to lunch at 2.30pm  or full milk chai at 4 am to nimbu paani at 8am, the kitchen and the helps are gently geared up  for revision exercises.Extra amount is doled out to them during such visits , to 'kindly adjust'.Mumbai helps have a tight work schedule and it takes a lot more than kindness for them to 'adjust'.Time khoti nai kar sakta koi yahaan.It is very easy to guess for any outsider which set of parents is around.Gatte ki sabzi in the dubba and Balika Vadhu title music blaring in the house-mine and pithla ,masale-bhath in the dubba and Asambhav title blaring- its the in -laws.

Now that the situation is somewhat clear,let me tell you about the conflict in question.The fight that I am going to talk about here is forced upon this very giving and forgiving couple who permanently resides in my house. Situation is particularly complex because this couple with divine wisdom, beyond years is routinely asked to intervene when others fight and here ,they were instigated against each other.The instigators are none other than the septuagenarians mentioned above.The Samdhans expertly add ghee to the fire every day and manage to do that deftly even when the other is not on the scene.

It all started decades ago when my  mom one day was frantically searching for the small Devi's frame which she had given to me at my wedding.The frame was found behind Dutta's frame eventually.The frame disappeared again during her next visit.Now,I would have never missed the frame as the house temple is not my domain and neither Hobbs nor I are regular puja people.Twice is too much of a coincidence and of particular importance was the exact place where the frame would be found,behind Dutta's or Narsinghji's frame.MIL threw some  light one day on the whole thing ..Devi is Vishnu's ardhangini and is depicted in every frame of His so why a separate one.Mom on the other hand said that it was very rare to have Vishnu in Devi's frame and it is that female  independence,that she worshiped.So Deviji  has to hide behind Vishnu when MIL is around and she sits pretty in front of Him when mom is in charge of the temple.All big talks actually if you ask me.If you have not  guessed already, it is only their own family deities they were partial to,nothing else. Vishnu-Deviji are embroiled in a tussle for no fault of theirs and that too in my house.
Hey Bhagwaaan! Exactly!!

PS-Last Dhanteras,I made small murtis and enclosed them in beautiful cases for the parents .The process of replacing  frames from the set frame of minds is going to be arduous .Your best wishes are required!


  1. oho! what a unique tussle this has been!

    and "kindly adjust to the bai ... that part was so much fun to read
    and seriously with such major/minor changes in everything from nimbu paani to meals ... i wouldn't have been able to cop had i been a bai :DD

    1. You should see the rapport both the women share with the maids!

  2. lol!!! Best wishes indeed :D
    We women have the ability to fight or argue on anything & everything ;)

  3. This indeed was a fight worth reading about! What a divine fight, as you title has aptly put it :) Have the two sets of mothers ever had a talk about this 'switch'? That would be worth a hearing :)

  4. They are slowly coming out of their frames now;) part is ,none of this has ever happened face to face.

  5. A divine fight, as Zephyr rightly said! A nice read:)

  6. Brilliant fight, I guess they lead by example - albeit a wrong one.

  7. You seek divine intervention or better draw a Lakshman Rekha to settle the issue once for all :)



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