Tears,idle tears, I know not what they mean....Tennyson wrote in a wonderful poem .
I do not weep often but I shed tears all the time,copious tears .They say tears are the silent language of grief but in my case tears can take many forms .Before you draw an obvious conclusion that I am perpetually sad and grief stricken or the other extreme that I am talking about crocodile tears,I must elaborate further as to what makes me shed tears so often.
Actually It does not take much to make me misty eyed. If I say I cried when I gave birth to my kids and not because of pain but because I was overwhelmed,it sounds pretty normal .But things were a bit awkward recently when I visited a student of mine in the maternity ward and could not control my tears as I held her baby in my arms. I mean,here she was all excited and smiling about the wonderful experience and there I was trying to hide my eyes brimming with tears.Why??
I just have no control over my hyperactive lachrymal glands.Actually I have learnt to live with the defect but at times it really becomes too much to handle.After the initial fun making ,now the family is also embarrassed about it.How much could they have laughed about it anyways.I have instructions to arrange for the corner seat in the auditorium during concerts when my kids are performing.I shamelessly cry and my throat gets choked as soon as I spot them on the stage amongst the crowd of performers.Other parents give me strange looks but I just have no control.I wail on the mute mode (thankfully!)
Movies are another thing when it comes to shedding tears.Even the atrocious ,nonsensical ones can have that one moment,just one fleeting moment for my eyes to go on the watery trail.Can you imagine how embarrassing it can get ?I am scared to go for Housefull 2 type of movies for that reason.Serious movies can justify my red nose,chinky eyes,puffed-up face in the lobby but a Housefull type and that kind of appearance attracts attention in the wrong direction.People look at me and then give strange looks to Hobbs.I have never blamed him for leaving the theater ahead of 'The end' under the pretext of rushing to the car park. Two decades of being married kind of develops that kind of understanding between couples.Thank God most Bollywood movies do not have ends that can not be missed.I am filled with disgust when my eyes refuse to cooperate in a K Jo movie and overflow with Shahrukh hamming big time on the screen and you can never ever understand the shame I go through while some random Balaji soap does the same to me and I am not even following the story!The point is,you cry, my eyes follow.As simple as that.
Talent shows,reality shows,you name it..while the contestants are busy shedding crocodile tears,I am busy shedding real ones looking at them.There are some songs which make me sob ,like the 'ma' song from Taare Zameen Par.Each time ,every bloody time I listen to it,I sob.Muffin my son, actually tried playing that in the background once to emotionally blackmail me and it almost worked. My brain was thankfully more hyperactive compared to my lachrymals that day. I have cried for each milestone that my kids crossed.They have grown up now but I still forget the demonic behavior of the previous night and stare misty eyed at the angelic faces of both as they sleep.
When Shakespeare said ,if you have tears,prepare to shed them now...he meant me and I do not even need to prepare.They are spontaneous,mine are shed just like that ,at the drop of a hat.
How true when they say,tears are the heart's own dew!
