Domestic fights are divine

Hobbs and I are not the only couple who is constantly fighting for dominance in the house.There is one more couple who is embroiled in this fight for supremacy.The only difference in the two fights is that one can be heard loud and clear and the other is  a non-verbal duel held strictly behind closed doors.Unbelievable but true!

I am neither talking about my elderly in-laws on their triannual visits nor my parents here.In both the cases,the fights have become rare albeit louder with advancing age .What is a fight which can not be heard especially by the opponent.My MIL secures her hubby's hearing aids in place before she goes full-on.Dad has convenient, selective hearing genes so he switches off somewhere in between mom's sermon and after a while all is well.However,when the tables are turned and the males are enraged, both women can be seen with their noses buried inside tabloids/newspapers/religious texts, depending on the gravity of the situation.

A little peek into the background of the battleground (my abode) is essential before I talk about the actual conflict.
The Rajasthani-Maharashtrian melee is very common at my house but 'states' don't matter and feature at all  in our disagreements.The kitchen however and the house helps have to switch modes with each impending parental visit .Be it,no-kanda-lasun-mirch-masala cooking to extra tadka-kanda-lasun or lunch at 11.30am to lunch at 2.30pm  or full milk chai at 4 am to nimbu paani at 8am, the kitchen and the helps are gently geared up  for revision exercises.Extra amount is doled out to them during such visits , to 'kindly adjust'.Mumbai helps have a tight work schedule and it takes a lot more than kindness for them to 'adjust'.Time khoti nai kar sakta koi yahaan.It is very easy to guess for any outsider which set of parents is around.Gatte ki sabzi in the dubba and Balika Vadhu title music blaring in the house-mine and pithla ,masale-bhath in the dubba and Asambhav title blaring- its the in -laws.


Now that the situation is somewhat clear,let me tell you about the conflict in question.The fight that I am going to talk about here is forced upon this very giving and forgiving couple who permanently resides in my house. Situation is particularly complex because this couple with divine wisdom, beyond years is routinely asked to intervene when others fight and here ,they were instigated against each other.The instigators are none other than the septuagenarians mentioned above.The Samdhans expertly add ghee to the fire every day and manage to do that deftly even when the other is not on the scene.

It all started decades ago when my  mom one day was frantically searching for the small Devi's frame which she had given to me at my wedding.The frame was found behind Dutta's frame eventually.The frame disappeared again during her next visit.Now,I would have never missed the frame as the house temple is not my domain and neither Hobbs nor I are regular puja people.Twice is too much of a coincidence and of particular importance was the exact place where the frame would be found,behind Dutta's or Narsinghji's frame.MIL threw some  light one day on the whole thing ..Devi is Vishnu's ardhangini and is depicted in every frame of His so why a separate one.Mom on the other hand said that it was very rare to have Vishnu in Devi's frame and it is that female  independence,that she worshiped.So Deviji  has to hide behind Vishnu when MIL is around and she sits pretty in front of Him when mom is in charge of the temple.All big talks actually if you ask me.If you have not  guessed already, it is only their own family deities they were partial to,nothing else. Vishnu-Deviji are embroiled in a tussle for no fault of theirs and that too in my house.
Hey Bhagwaaan! Exactly!!


PS-Last Dhanteras,I made small murtis and enclosed them in beautiful cases for the parents .The process of replacing  frames from the set frame of minds is going to be arduous .Your best wishes are required!

Walking In The Woods

Walking in the woods,
silently on tip toes..
veiled eyes marking my trail
their piercing gaze sending shivers down my spine,

                                                                                                 
Walking in the woods,
the tall stately tree  looks far ahead in the sky
knows not who treads, what lies in wait beneath...
shuffling of tiny feet,largely unnoticed,

Walking in the woods,
the old Banyan sits like a matriarch,
nesting birds a midst serpentine creepers
Strange feet weary from their  tread resting underneath,

Walking in the woods,
the wild roams, albeit with restrain
the laws are their own ,own rules to follow..
to live and let live ,never to tame.

Walking in the woods,
dwarfed by the might of the untamed,
I bow down my head ,humbled..
for I am, but a mighty speck...


 
  

Tears- A far cry

                                                                     courtesy-google images            

Tears,idle tears, I know not what they mean....Tennyson wrote in a wonderful poem .

I do not weep often but I shed tears all the time,copious tears .They say tears are the silent language of grief but in my case tears can take many forms .Before you draw an obvious conclusion that I am perpetually sad and grief stricken or the other extreme that I am talking about crocodile tears,I must elaborate further as to what makes me shed tears so often.

Actually It does not take much to make me misty eyed. If I say I cried when I gave birth to my kids and not because of pain but because I was overwhelmed,it sounds pretty normal .But things were a bit awkward recently when I visited a student of mine in the maternity ward and could not control my tears as I held her baby in my arms. I mean,here she was all excited and smiling about the wonderful experience and there I was trying to hide my eyes brimming with tears.Why??

I just have no control over my hyperactive lachrymal glands.Actually I have learnt to live with the defect but at times it really becomes too much to handle.After the initial fun making ,now the family is also embarrassed about it.How much could they have laughed about it anyways.I have instructions to arrange for the corner seat in the auditorium during concerts when my kids are performing.I shamelessly cry and my throat gets choked as soon as I spot them on the stage amongst the crowd of performers.Other parents give me strange looks but I just have no control.I wail on the mute mode (thankfully!)

Movies are another thing when it comes to shedding tears.Even the atrocious ,nonsensical ones can have that one moment,just one fleeting moment for my eyes to go on the watery trail.Can you imagine how embarrassing it can get ?I am scared to go for Housefull 2 type of movies for that reason.Serious movies can justify my red nose,chinky eyes,puffed-up face in the lobby but a Housefull type and  that kind of appearance attracts attention in the wrong direction.People look at me and then give strange looks to Hobbs.I have never blamed him for leaving the theater ahead of  'The end' under the pretext of rushing to the car park. Two decades of being married kind of develops that kind of understanding between couples.Thank God most Bollywood movies do not have ends that can not be missed.I am filled with disgust when my eyes refuse to cooperate in a K Jo movie and overflow with Shahrukh hamming big time on the screen and you can never ever understand the shame I go through while some random Balaji soap does the same to me and I am not even following the story!The point is,you cry, my eyes follow.As simple as that.

 Talent shows,reality shows,you name it..while the contestants are busy shedding crocodile tears,I am busy shedding real ones looking at them.There are some songs which make me sob ,like the 'ma' song from Taare Zameen Par.Each time ,every bloody time I listen to it,I sob.Muffin my son, actually tried playing that in the background once  to emotionally blackmail me and it almost worked. My brain was thankfully more hyperactive compared to my lachrymals that day. I have cried for each milestone that my kids crossed.They have grown up now but I still forget the demonic behavior of the previous night and stare misty eyed at the angelic faces of both as they sleep.

When Shakespeare said ,if you have tears,prepare to shed them now...he meant me and I do not even need to prepare.They are spontaneous,mine are shed just like that ,at the drop of a hat.
How true when they say,tears are the heart's own dew!