When Words Fail Me

A keen observer,a silent and patient listener,person brimming with new ideas,a fantastic storyteller,that is Rajkumar Hirani for most.I met him the other day and I was not surprised when I heard that he needs solitude to write and that sometimes he leaves town to be away from the mundane to write in peace . He draws inspiration from the common man he said and I observed that he listened more than he talked.Now,I am no Premchand of literature ,I  only express with regularly,irregular posts on my blog.I write whenever,whatever comes to my mind.Some beautiful people read and comment,most do not know me at all.but that does not mean,writing is just a pastime for me..it is something I have done ever since I learnt how to make sentences in school.I think about what to write next,I have always been a good listener,I have developed extra sensory powers to eavesdrop on other people's conversations(bad!) ,and I guess, I am slowly getting there , honing my skills all along .Will I be able to write in solitude? I really do not know :o Will try my hand at it but where is solitude to be found??First will have to work towards that!!


If only inspirations were more frequent....Sometimes for days on end,nothing comes out of my brain.There are days when I sit nibbling on my pencil  till it resembles a Neem Daatoon  but words fail me . In complete contrast to this,there are days when my grey cells are hyperactive and writing one whole  thesis can be a cake walk. For someone who has never been tongue tied , this becomes frustrating.
Typically ,ideas never strike when they should and hound you with alarming regularity when they shouldn't .
Where would you reach out for the writing instrument when you are hanging for your dear life at the door of a local train clutching at the holding bars with handbag pressed somewhere between your chest / belly and the side panel of the compartment.I hardly take the local now but back then when writing was more about scribbling notes on scraps of any paper ,such situations were very common.By the time I would reach my destination,all in one piece,the idea would be gone with the wind.


The other day,Muffin wanted help with his Physics and I was lost...Poor son thought mommy dear was engrossed in trying to solve his work force energy numerical ,whereas, mommy was sprouting shaayri in her head. ;p Life is tough when you have to handle Physics and Shaayri together.Once in the middle of my under sea walk,I wanted to reach out to my pen and paper .Being a  non-swimmer,it was a memorable experience for me and one of the  most scary ones at that.The vast expanse of sea,the might and force of water around, my utter helplessness underneath and the beauty of life forms around,left me spellbound .The words were not the same back into the hotel room when I finally sat down to write.
Many times when caught in situations like having to listen to a monologue from my dear MIL about the daily grind like the bhaajiwaala, maid 1 ,maid 2 or the driver,I automatically switch  to'gaze-intently-listen-sparingly' mode.Years of practice has made me near perfect in returning from my own thoughts to the real world ,just in time to catch  the end of the monologue which typically ends with a question thrown at me -"Tula kaaye vaat tay,barobar aahe na?"(what do you think,am I right?).Situation is salvaged in  the nick of time as I am ready with the answer she is expecting-"Tumcha barobar aahe"( you are right).All through the talk,I make several trips in my head to different interesting worlds and am itching to write.A hurried excuse gives me a good write up but a delay means none whatsoever.
Presently I am working on four subjects but when I go back to read it after a while, it  all seems forced ,so drafts they will be until I get the flow..But writing about the mental block has helped and as I end this post,I am getting clear ideas about one of the drafts. :D :D