Just joined SAGS(Sinners Against Gender Stereotypes ) on FB .Though I am quite a 'girly' girl ,there are quite a few things not quite girly about me.
1.I do not take ages getting ready.When it is time to leave, for work or for a social do, it is me all ready and set waiting for hubby dear to emerge from the green room. ;-)
2.I do not like shopping and I hate window shopping .
3.Diamonds are not my best friends.I am not interested in jewellery at all ,haven't bought a single piece for myself ever.
4.I do not like Mills and Boon type mushy romantic books though I am a voracious reader with a huge collection.
5.I neither lose my head nor cool when my child gets sick or injured .Will generally take necessary steps rather than biting nails and shedding tears .(Very difficult for my kids to feign illness to miss school when I am around while dad is the softest clay they can mould when sick or injured.)
6.My world does not circle around my maids.I never think about delaying anything because my maids have not turned up or have been delayed.
7.I do not make a fuss about hubby and kids playing cricket and table tennis in my living room. We actually have a match size TT table,a practice ball hanging in the living room and umpteen sets of glasses,vases and tea cups sacrificed all thanks to the serious daily training sessions at home. In fact I have been threatened to wisen up by friends' wives and other mothers who have been urged to follow my example.
8.I am fearless of the dark ,ghosts etc. but I can be jumpy around creepy crawlies .
9.I do not like chocolate in any form.
10.I am not a make up person at all.
I am all of the above but I also love meeting my girl friends for gossip sessions,and think they are therapeutic.I weep unshamedly while watching movies or when my kids are on stage for a performance and last but not the least,I do worry about my weight and yes,I looove pink.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
DRIVING FORCE OF MY LIFE!!
My mother in law once told me that most housemaids in Mumbai are called Laxmis and most of the drivers called themselves Raju. Her theory is right when it comes to maids but it is the Rajus that I am going to talk about in this space. Obviously I don't drive so I have to depend on Rajus and over the years I have had many of them and each one has been an eclectic personality in his own right. While I take pride in retaining the oldest clinic and home staff from the time I began,the driving driver force has been an ever changing aspect and a frustrating one at that.A few particularly interesting ones my family can never forget...
Raju no. 1- Lasted 2 years.
Pet peeve-sleeping on duty,body odor,absconding to his desh every yr for 4-5 summer months
Good natured fellow,but would sleep through duty hours thanks to his night duty as watchman elsewhere.BO was taken care of by my son through constant reminders of bath,threats of confiscating his favorite chameli ka tel (which he sincerely thought would impress us) and gifts of .deos .He finally went back to his family back home ,and is sleeping on duty somewhere in Moradabad .
Raju no.2 -Lasted 4 yearsPet peeve-none
Fiercely loyal,extremely skilled driver,he was the best of the lot.He had this uncanny ability to appear in all our photographs!All the snaps during that period have him in a far corner with a corner of his 'rumaal' pressed between his teeth.Mumbai weather took a toll on his health and he too relocated to Hyderabad.
Raju no.3-Lasted 2 days
pet peeve-too short a time to know
He was a parking lot driver who turned overconfident little too soon.My cars have bruised bums thanks to him driving right into the wall in reverse. Saw him at a mall a few days back .
Raju no.4-Lasted 15 days
pet peeve-Forgetting his way around..
He would reach any destination but would invariably get lost on his way back. Tried understanding how and why,but gave up the day he forgot the way to my house. When he overshot the last turn to my lane,I thought he was dreaming,but no... he couldn't recognize the lane because ,in his own words;"bhabhi woh eent,patthar kahan gaye?road saaf ho gaya to pehchaan nahin aaya."What happened to fixed assets on the road,the landmarks??? So that was the secret to his' lost ways'!!
Raju no.5-Lasted 30 days
pet peeve-impatience,hatred for parking anywhere but the building garage!
This one made us the laughing stock of friends,family and staff.He would drive us to our destination,but on our return there was no guarantee that he would be around waiting for us.He would drive all the way back home and park the car back in the garage if,the mall was not to his liking,it was too hot,he was hungry,couldn't find parking on the road,or any other reason that he thought fit.So after being left in the lurch twice each(both me and hubby on separate occasions) we let him go. Wonder where he is now?
Raju no.6-Lasted 3 days
Speciality-Death personified ,extremely dangerous to all living beings on the road and off it!
Again a parking lot product,he was danger unleashed on the road!!
Day one ,my heart was in my mouth when I reached home after an hour of being in the back seat.
Day two, my head was hanging in shame due to the choicest abuses that were hurled at us all through.
Day three ,people saw me escape a near death situation when suddenly Raju 6 decided to enter at full speed between two speeding trucks jostling for space in front .Fraction of second later ,there I was all shaken up as if my arms were cut off from my body. Reality soon dawned that I was unscathed but my car had lost both the rearview mirrors as it emerged from in between the two giant trucks..I took a cab home and didn't see his face again.
Good old,family drivers are a rare breed now,and I am still in search of that one Raju who fits in perfectly....
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Kuch pal..
गर्मी की रातों को ,खुले आसमान के नीचे ,
लेटे हुए अक्सर देखा करती हूँ ,
रास्ते के निर्जीव खम्बे को ....
बेजुबान प्रहरी सा ये खम्बा ,ना जाने कब से यूँ ही खडा है
उनींदा सा ....
अपने धीमे से प्रकाश से , आस -पास के नन्हे से दायरे को थोड़ी सी रौशनी देता हुआ
ना जाने क्यों दिन - प्रतिदिन इसका तेज मद्धम होता प्रतीत होता है ,
और साथ ही चारों ओर मंडराते परवाने भी ..
देखते देखते जाने कब निद्रा मुझे अपने आगोश में ले लेती है पता नहीं चलता ,
पर ये क्या! प्रातः कालीन उजाले में वही खम्बा कितना निरीह जान पड़ता है ...
जैसे अपने ही प्रकाश से लजा रह हो !!
रात आने तक यही सोचती हूँ कि ,क्या जाने आज रोशनी होगी या नहीं ....
जानती हूँ और डरती हूँ ,
एक दिन इसे भी निद्रा अपने आगोश में ले लेगी !
शायद परवाने भी जान गए हैं ,इसीलिए उनका यहाँ आजकल ,
आना- जाना और झूम -झूम कर गुनगुनाना कुछ कम हो गया है .....
लेटे हुए अक्सर देखा करती हूँ ,
रास्ते के निर्जीव खम्बे को ....
बेजुबान प्रहरी सा ये खम्बा ,ना जाने कब से यूँ ही खडा है
उनींदा सा ....
अपने धीमे से प्रकाश से , आस -पास के नन्हे से दायरे को थोड़ी सी रौशनी देता हुआ
ना जाने क्यों दिन - प्रतिदिन इसका तेज मद्धम होता प्रतीत होता है ,
और साथ ही चारों ओर मंडराते परवाने भी ..
देखते देखते जाने कब निद्रा मुझे अपने आगोश में ले लेती है पता नहीं चलता ,
पर ये क्या! प्रातः कालीन उजाले में वही खम्बा कितना निरीह जान पड़ता है ...
जैसे अपने ही प्रकाश से लजा रह हो !!
रात आने तक यही सोचती हूँ कि ,क्या जाने आज रोशनी होगी या नहीं ....
जानती हूँ और डरती हूँ ,
एक दिन इसे भी निद्रा अपने आगोश में ले लेगी !
शायद परवाने भी जान गए हैं ,इसीलिए उनका यहाँ आजकल ,
आना- जाना और झूम -झूम कर गुनगुनाना कुछ कम हो गया है .....
Monday, May 3, 2010
When she lost herself in time and space...
Some lovely childhood memories close to my heart are the summers spent with my bua or atya in Rajasthan. Never felt the scorching heat....and that was more because of the uninhibited affection showered on me and less because of the nimbu paani and faalse ka sharbat that she made.Needless to say we were each other's favorites.
Clinic,shifting,marriage , kids,the excuses of not being able to visit her became so called priorities for me and she slowly resigned .Occasional phone call made her happy, at least that is what she said and I believed. Life in Metro continued until I was informed that she was on her death bed ,-cervical cancer,terminal stage,no hope! Had the worst migraine attack in years that day as I slowly absorbed the news.
By evening I was outside her hospital room,(after fifteen long years) mustering up the courage to enter,fighting tears welling up in my eyes and then I heard laughter ,excited sounds ,some more laughs,giggles.. singing, coming out of the room. Wrong room!! I thought,and retraced my steps when a visibly embarrassed ,red in the face, Prem kakaji rushed out ."Good! go meet her and hold and rub her palms till I return will you?",he said. I entered and decided to take the matters in my hand till I was there,how could they make the hospital room into a..a..lounge, or. ..or..a clubhouse for God's sake I fumed.I walked into a roomful of young,strangers,average age 20 yrs who were completely oblivious to my presence and continued their activities and light hearted banter. Before I could utter a word,I glanced around and what I saw will remain etched in my memory for the rest of my life.A young girl,was changing the diaper of the skin and bones of my badi maa with a song on her lip,another was busy making her hair,another ponytailed teenaged boy was neatly disposing soiled diapers and the giggles were for a wrap around skirt that was being designed for their granny!!Will save her the trouble of sliding up her old traditional skirt slip and sari.
I was sighted by then by this bunch of nieces and nephews,and I was ushered close to the bed .I held her hand and tears started welling up again.. not allowed, I saw someone signal with her finger.She did not see me,she probably heard me,but she sure felt me...as she spoke after two whole days of silence..her first instruction to have mehendi applied to my palms as I was getting married and had come to seek her blessings before taking the wedding vows.
She was already lost in time and space...
...and these kids were only trying to make things better for her..like making her believe that she was in her home,surrounded by her family,just the way she loved,..full of love,laughter,lot of touch,feel..
Quick maasi,we have to go get mehendi done,buy shagun sari for you,and be back as soon as possible to show her.I meekly followed ,they were in charge,and were damn good at it!On my way out I saw a big poster that said-'MAIN PREM KI DIWANI HOON'.She had lately become too attached to her brother,our Prem kakaji and would allow only him to hold her hand and rub her palms,and if he needed to be relieved and someone else took over,she would feel the different touch and start chanting Prem..Prem..until he took over again. That explained kakaji and his hurried exit!! The kids were merciless when it came to teasing him or anyone for that matter.
She did not respond when I showed her my mehendi,in fact never spoke again till I left and passed away ten days later.My only consolation is that I met her before I lost her.As for the what the young bunch taught me,well that is something I shall always cherish..
1. I will think twice before I label any teenager irresponsible
2.I will try not to go by appearances (umm... little difficult ,but promise trying)
3.I will not judge people. ( did I imagine that smile on my daughter's lips?)
Watching seemingly careless youngsters, care..another one of simple pleasures
Clinic,shifting,marriage , kids,the excuses of not being able to visit her became so called priorities for me and she slowly resigned .Occasional phone call made her happy, at least that is what she said and I believed. Life in Metro continued until I was informed that she was on her death bed ,-cervical cancer,terminal stage,no hope! Had the worst migraine attack in years that day as I slowly absorbed the news.
By evening I was outside her hospital room,(after fifteen long years) mustering up the courage to enter,fighting tears welling up in my eyes and then I heard laughter ,excited sounds ,some more laughs,giggles.. singing, coming out of the room. Wrong room!! I thought,and retraced my steps when a visibly embarrassed ,red in the face, Prem kakaji rushed out ."Good! go meet her and hold and rub her palms till I return will you?",he said. I entered and decided to take the matters in my hand till I was there,how could they make the hospital room into a..a..lounge, or. ..or..a clubhouse for God's sake I fumed.I walked into a roomful of young,strangers,average age 20 yrs who were completely oblivious to my presence and continued their activities and light hearted banter. Before I could utter a word,I glanced around and what I saw will remain etched in my memory for the rest of my life.A young girl,was changing the diaper of the skin and bones of my badi maa with a song on her lip,another was busy making her hair,another ponytailed teenaged boy was neatly disposing soiled diapers and the giggles were for a wrap around skirt that was being designed for their granny!!Will save her the trouble of sliding up her old traditional skirt slip and sari.
I was sighted by then by this bunch of nieces and nephews,and I was ushered close to the bed .I held her hand and tears started welling up again.. not allowed, I saw someone signal with her finger.She did not see me,she probably heard me,but she sure felt me...as she spoke after two whole days of silence..her first instruction to have mehendi applied to my palms as I was getting married and had come to seek her blessings before taking the wedding vows.
She was already lost in time and space...
...and these kids were only trying to make things better for her..like making her believe that she was in her home,surrounded by her family,just the way she loved,..full of love,laughter,lot of touch,feel..
Quick maasi,we have to go get mehendi done,buy shagun sari for you,and be back as soon as possible to show her.I meekly followed ,they were in charge,and were damn good at it!On my way out I saw a big poster that said-'MAIN PREM KI DIWANI HOON'.She had lately become too attached to her brother,our Prem kakaji and would allow only him to hold her hand and rub her palms,and if he needed to be relieved and someone else took over,she would feel the different touch and start chanting Prem..Prem..until he took over again. That explained kakaji and his hurried exit!! The kids were merciless when it came to teasing him or anyone for that matter.
She did not respond when I showed her my mehendi,in fact never spoke again till I left and passed away ten days later.My only consolation is that I met her before I lost her.As for the what the young bunch taught me,well that is something I shall always cherish..
1. I will think twice before I label any teenager irresponsible
2.I will try not to go by appearances (umm... little difficult ,but promise trying)
3.I will not judge people. ( did I imagine that smile on my daughter's lips?)
Watching seemingly careless youngsters, care..another one of simple pleasures
Friday, February 19, 2010
yaadon ke taanke
यादों के चंद टाँके जब विचारों की तुरपन से अचानक टूटे
तो एक शृंखला सी उधडती चली गयी ,
रह गए मात्र कुछ पंक्तिबद्ध छिद्र
मन की सुई ने टूटे हुए टांकों को subaddha karna chaaha maano
har छिद्र से gujarte हुए ateet को aaj के kareeb ,bahut kareeb laana chaahti ho...
kintu...
bhooli hui yadon के padchinhon ने yah aabhas hi nahin hone diyaa की
ateet aur vartamaan zindagee के do pahloo hain,-purnataya bhinna aur prithak
tabhi ahsaas hua ...
ateet के padchinhon par aaj की neev anuchit hai,akarmanyata की prateek hai
kaash...
uus तुरपन mein एक mod diya hota,
टांकों के saaye को nazar से door kiya hota,
naa main unko dekhaa karti,
naa main unme ghusti firti ,
aadhe -tirche hi sahi ,
कुछ टाँके तो ho jaate ,
uttam ve hote yaa hote asafal,
buniyaadi ve टाँके hote,
swachha,sudradha va bilkul NAVAL....
तो एक शृंखला सी उधडती चली गयी ,
रह गए मात्र कुछ पंक्तिबद्ध छिद्र
मन की सुई ने टूटे हुए टांकों को subaddha karna chaaha maano
har छिद्र से gujarte हुए ateet को aaj के kareeb ,bahut kareeb laana chaahti ho...
kintu...
bhooli hui yadon के padchinhon ने yah aabhas hi nahin hone diyaa की
ateet aur vartamaan zindagee के do pahloo hain,-purnataya bhinna aur prithak
tabhi ahsaas hua ...
ateet के padchinhon par aaj की neev anuchit hai,akarmanyata की prateek hai
kaash...
uus तुरपन mein एक mod diya hota,
टांकों के saaye को nazar से door kiya hota,
naa main unko dekhaa karti,
naa main unme ghusti firti ,
aadhe -tirche hi sahi ,
कुछ टाँके तो ho jaate ,
uttam ve hote yaa hote asafal,
buniyaadi ve टाँके hote,
swachha,sudradha va bilkul NAVAL....
Monday, December 14, 2009
Age old old age problem ..
The elderly already anxious lady on my dental chair was startled by a loud booming voice from the reception area.Doc,someone sure needs immediate attention ,she said.I continued my work knowing fully well who it was outside.It had been quite a while but the tone,the voice,everything was too familiar to miss.The older staff also exchanged knowing looks,smiled and went about their work.Newer staff was curious ,some marched towards reception to investigate.The voice in no time would get louder, I knew from experience ,forcing either my husband or me out from our respective operatories.
This very old parsi gentleman has been coming to us for his dental treatment since the inception of our clinic . back then , we would get intimidated and call him in immediately .He never believed in taking prior appointment nor ever will .Over the years we grew quite fond of him but no amount of requesting,pleading,reasoning with him to take appointment, has worked.We have at times sent him away,wished he would change dentists but of course he never did.
I was particularly busy that day so I sent him in the opg room for x rays and asked an associate doctor to examine him.Mr.'know all' rubbished the idea when he was told that he needs a root canal in the painful tooth,demanded as always that he be allowed to meet us ,just to make sure..
I sighed and moved out to have a word with him . "Stop making a fuss kaka ,I saw your x ray ,you do need a root canal ," I said.
"But I want you to pull that tooth out , I do not want anything that troubles me in my life now.",he said aloud.
"I will not remove that tooth when it can be saved kaka ,'I said patiently.You can go somewhere else and get it removed.I knew the answer, we had rehearsed it umpteen times over the years before each root canal of his.
"You knhow dhikra I weel not go ainywhere "he stressed on each word. Ok kaka, let us go to the hospital and remove and throw your heart out first as it has been troubling you since years.You will cease to be a heart patient then,all your troubles gone!
He pretended he was busy reading something,fiddled with his bag ,mumbling and I left him there with himself to talk to.
Five minutes later he was inside the cabin waving his frail fingers in the air."But no cap for me after root canal ,then only you proceed."he said .Sure thing,only next time when you fracture your fragile bones,we will only allow the orthopedic to align it and no plaster cast will be put.deal?I said, not once looking up from my desk.
You always do this ,you know very well,main idhar hi ayega. you win , do what you want.
Next few days we all were entertained by his life's interesting anecdotes ,political and social debates with anyone available in the waiting room.He would demand tea and sip it slowly,enjoying every sip noisily.
Funny man, intelligent,interesting,extremely well read, but sadly, very lonely in old age with no one to talk to .Such visits give him a break from his loneliness.He cribs about extended appointments and multiple visits ,blames all of us for troubling him in his old age but we know that he looks forward to these visits.We indulge,knowing that very few people around will understand and most of them will not,...this age old problem of old age...
This very old parsi gentleman has been coming to us for his dental treatment since the inception of our clinic . back then , we would get intimidated and call him in immediately .He never believed in taking prior appointment nor ever will .Over the years we grew quite fond of him but no amount of requesting,pleading,reasoning with him to take appointment, has worked.We have at times sent him away,wished he would change dentists but of course he never did.
I was particularly busy that day so I sent him in the opg room for x rays and asked an associate doctor to examine him.Mr.'know all' rubbished the idea when he was told that he needs a root canal in the painful tooth,demanded as always that he be allowed to meet us ,just to make sure..
I sighed and moved out to have a word with him . "Stop making a fuss kaka ,I saw your x ray ,you do need a root canal ," I said.
"But I want you to pull that tooth out , I do not want anything that troubles me in my life now.",he said aloud.
"I will not remove that tooth when it can be saved kaka ,'I said patiently.You can go somewhere else and get it removed.I knew the answer, we had rehearsed it umpteen times over the years before each root canal of his.
"You knhow dhikra I weel not go ainywhere "he stressed on each word. Ok kaka, let us go to the hospital and remove and throw your heart out first as it has been troubling you since years.You will cease to be a heart patient then,all your troubles gone!
He pretended he was busy reading something,fiddled with his bag ,mumbling and I left him there with himself to talk to.
Five minutes later he was inside the cabin waving his frail fingers in the air."But no cap for me after root canal ,then only you proceed."he said .Sure thing,only next time when you fracture your fragile bones,we will only allow the orthopedic to align it and no plaster cast will be put.deal?I said, not once looking up from my desk.
You always do this ,you know very well,main idhar hi ayega. you win , do what you want.
Next few days we all were entertained by his life's interesting anecdotes ,political and social debates with anyone available in the waiting room.He would demand tea and sip it slowly,enjoying every sip noisily.
Funny man, intelligent,interesting,extremely well read, but sadly, very lonely in old age with no one to talk to .Such visits give him a break from his loneliness.He cribs about extended appointments and multiple visits ,blames all of us for troubling him in his old age but we know that he looks forward to these visits.We indulge,knowing that very few people around will understand and most of them will not,...this age old problem of old age...
Monday, November 16, 2009
more weight loss woes-why I don't/can't go gymming.
Some genuine reasons I can't/don't/won't go gymming :
1.I am spoilt silly for the choice of gyms in my area ; Small-spacious,personal-pro,page3-nondescript,friendly-snooty,nextdoor-not-so-close,with pool-without pool etc.confusion prevails...whichever you choose,the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
2.Hey , the monsoons is not the season for gymming in Mumbai!
3.I just recovered from my umpteenth attack of ' catch in the back' (slipped intervertebral disk)
4.The last gym I joined had obese auny types always discussing food.if they couldn't loose weight,how could I ??
Nah! not MOTI-vating enough..
5.Previous to this, the page3 gym had ,no prizes for guessing-page 3 super thin crowd.No one looked like they required the gym for gymming ,(socialising oh yes!)
Nope,not dependable/believable..
6.Bingo! personal trainer it is- I decided.He came ,he saw,he ordered.Buy treadmill,buy stepper,buy gym ball,resistance band,weights ( they don't sell will power yet do they?)Few days all goes well and then it starts..he chooses to come when you are going out,have guests,fever,homework(kids' or yours ,same thing) or are out of station, inviting sad comments that you are not serious(I know that dear ,that's why I am paying you)
or
the trainer starts getting delayed regurarly,at some other client's place,has some mr something contest,marathon training,if nothing else,even Mumbai traffic delays him.
Not done..waste of time and money..
6.Hmm the next gym that caught my fancy came with a price tag as it had mixed bag routine with a Hitler for a trainer.Goood!Very first day and i saw stars! c'mon ,move it she yelled! where??I wondered. The room was spinning (or was it me?).Next thing I saw was hubby at the gate with the worst 'I -told-you-so' looks laced with sympathy..
Determined I made it next day and was welcomed with an applause.It was better this time but by the end of the routine,I felt illiterate.The instructions she was giving and others were following were definitely not in english for if it was so ,I would follow some thing..if not everything.Shuffle-shuffle- I was thinking cards they were thinking feet.. and moving them also.It was so alien, I must have looked like an idiot flaying my arms and legs in the air, actually nowhere!
I managed to learn the language, lost some weight, felt fit and then the calamity struck as always,you guessed it right ,'catch in the back'.
Embarassing!!!
Untill my next with some yoga woes!...
1.I am spoilt silly for the choice of gyms in my area ; Small-spacious,personal-pro,page3-nondescript,friendly-snooty,nextdoor-not-so-close,with pool-without pool etc.confusion prevails...whichever you choose,the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
2.Hey , the monsoons is not the season for gymming in Mumbai!
3.I just recovered from my umpteenth attack of ' catch in the back' (slipped intervertebral disk)
4.The last gym I joined had obese auny types always discussing food.if they couldn't loose weight,how could I ??
Nah! not MOTI-vating enough..
5.Previous to this, the page3 gym had ,no prizes for guessing-page 3 super thin crowd.No one looked like they required the gym for gymming ,(socialising oh yes!)
Nope,not dependable/believable..
6.Bingo! personal trainer it is- I decided.He came ,he saw,he ordered.Buy treadmill,buy stepper,buy gym ball,resistance band,weights ( they don't sell will power yet do they?)Few days all goes well and then it starts..he chooses to come when you are going out,have guests,fever,homework(kids' or yours ,same thing) or are out of station, inviting sad comments that you are not serious(I know that dear ,that's why I am paying you)
or
the trainer starts getting delayed regurarly,at some other client's place,has some mr something contest,marathon training,if nothing else,even Mumbai traffic delays him.
Not done..waste of time and money..
6.Hmm the next gym that caught my fancy came with a price tag as it had mixed bag routine with a Hitler for a trainer.Goood!Very first day and i saw stars! c'mon ,move it she yelled! where??I wondered. The room was spinning (or was it me?).Next thing I saw was hubby at the gate with the worst 'I -told-you-so' looks laced with sympathy..
Determined I made it next day and was welcomed with an applause.It was better this time but by the end of the routine,I felt illiterate.The instructions she was giving and others were following were definitely not in english for if it was so ,I would follow some thing..if not everything.Shuffle-shuffle- I was thinking cards they were thinking feet.. and moving them also.It was so alien, I must have looked like an idiot flaying my arms and legs in the air, actually nowhere!
I managed to learn the language, lost some weight, felt fit and then the calamity struck as always,you guessed it right ,'catch in the back'.
Embarassing!!!
Untill my next with some yoga woes!...
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