weight loss woes and laws!

1.Weighing scale moves only in one direction,to your right!(wrong for the person standing on it)
2.All surprise party invitations land up the day you decide to go on a diet.
3.You get PMS/periods the day you decide to go on a diet so you can blame your excess weight on water retention!
4.Your best friend,your husbands best friend,closest relatives ,conspire to get married during your diet period.
5.Someone decides to be nice to you and comments that you look slimmer, shattering your resolve to go on a diet.
6.Your son, fresh from the baking class surprises you by baking the yummiest cake the day you decide to go on a diet.(of course, you can't break his heart.)
7.You find an old dress that fits you perfectly making you believe that you actually have lost weight(you forget the fact that it was one of those maternity tents from your last pregnancy)
8.You exhaust all stock of fresh fruit,veggies,dalia,oats, in short everything healthy,the day you get up early with the resolve to go on a diet.
You are rendered 'helpless'by all house helps the day you decide to go on a diet so you have to cook'fast food',(pun intended)lack of time you see!