Why am I in love with Mumbai..

A comment on Purba's post(my own about what irks me as a Mumbaikar),and it set 

me thinking..Before I knew it,it turned into a  full post about why I love Mumbai.
I could go on and on but this space has its own limitations ,so read on a few lines 
about my dear Mumbai... 

                                                        courtesy google images                    

After a long struggle, when I finally got married to Hobbs, we decided to shift base to Mumbai. This was in the early nineties and we were being fed on stories about big bad city of Mumbai by almost everyone who was even remotely connected to this city. Hobbs always dreamt of making Mumbai his home but waited for me to finish my post-graduation before we tied the knot. I was secretly hoping he would change his mind but in vain.

Hindi movies those days had scenes depicting a bechara /bechari being duped as soon as he/she arrived at VT station  ( CST now) by a thug or a taxi driver circling the city to fleece a hapless passenger. Mere mention of Bombay would elicit a negative response from almost everyone- ”Arre Baap Re!!” being most common of all. Some reactions would read thus:

-        Arre… you will be looted as soon as you step inside the Mahanagri !

-         Bhookhe mar jaaoge! You live like a king here,in your own house, but out there ,you will be paupers.

-        Have you seen the houses there…twenty people live in one tiny kholi and strangers share a bathroom.

-        You will earn for others. EMI bharte – bharte zindagi khatam ho jayegi.

-        Bimaar hoge toh roti khilane wala koi na hoga. You will die a lonely death.

-        One well meaning auntyji whispered in my ear “You are used to pears and Sunsilk and ready made napkins for ‘those days’ …do you think you will be able to afford these ‘luxuries’ after paying off your debts?”

-        Joote ghis jayenge beta Bombay ki sadkon par. Here you have gaadi-ghoda at your beck and call.

    The typical Marwadi style melodrama was to dissuade me both from my marriage to a Maharashtrian as well as the shift to Mumbai. Hobbs faced emotional blackmail of a subtle kind at home. His parents hoped that atleast,the youngest son would stay back at the ancestral property. The decision was already made and the shift was smooth with one sack full of useless wedding presents and one suitcase each of clothes.

I admit I fell in love with Mumbai as I gazed at the city during my first taxi ride to the suburban home of sis in law which we shared for a while . Her living room was our first bedroom . I loved the city more when I shifted to my own tiny rented apartment. Having spent most our growing years in bungalows surrounded by sprawling gardens ,the matchbox sized apartment was nowhere close to luxury. Shuru hote hi khatam ho jata tha. I loved the city all the more when the city gave me the independence of traveling on my own by public transport at an unearthly hour without fear. It sharpened my sensory perception, I could recognize local stations by their smells and sounds even in sleep. Mumbai taught me the value of a fraction of a second of my time. I learnt to  recognize the person at the door by the time of his arrival even before I opened the door. 7am –milkman,7.30am-paperwala,7.45-car cleaner and so on.. 7.30am bell can not be your dhobi’s bell unless informed well in advance. I fell in love with the gastronomic delights, ranging from, sabse sasta ,filling, street food to the exotic,  ridiculously priced , bland platter. The street shopping grew on me, and so did the AC confines of the swanky malls. Most important of all,I loved the anonymity in the crowd that Mumbai gave me. No one gave a damn about who I was ,what I wore, where I came from or where I was headed. All my life I was aware that I was a girl, and hence was aware of how I walked, what I wore, where I came from and where I was headed. I was aware of my being a female in a sea of humans and unconsciously crossed my arms in a crowd to avoid being touched ‘unintentionally’. Mumbai made me feel human and I could hang my arms by my side and swing them for all I cared, without attracting a single eyeball. Mumbai grounded me and taught me to stand in a crowd rubbing shoulders with a fisherwoman, a scrawny looking but energetic sabjiwali, a CEO or an IAS from Mantralaya . Once in the local, they are professionals and homemakers rolled into one and can be seen preparing for evening meals while chatting, bitching about in-laws or singing bhajans. This city gives aam aadmi  the recognition of being anonymous at some level.

Is that an advantage or disadvantage? Go figure!

For me, wherever I go, I need to and long to come back and Mumbai welcomes me with open arms. This is the city of my dreams,so what if the politicians choose to use and abuse it .The common man however, has nothing to do with politics and does not boast about his ‘connections’while crossing the road or while peeing in public. One day, people will wake up and move on from being more than mere spirited Mumbaikars and bring on a change.

For all of the above and much more beyond the scope of this post,I Love Mumbai!!

  

-         

Cockroaches on Mumbai roads-our very own autorickshaws...

What do I miss most when I travel abroad?You will be surprised ,its the cockroaches on the Mumbai roads-our very own autorikshaws ,auto  or ricks as we prefer calling them .Autos have always fascinated me .They just spill over and crawl all over the city roads like cockroaches and there is no pest control to take care of them!We all have a love - hate relationship with them ;when you are not in them,you hate them and when you are personal-transport- challanged and have managed to convince one of them to do your route,you love them!!

The interiors of autorikshaws is a subject in itself for serious research.They can sport a Raja babu style dhinchak interior or a simple,no frills attached interior.

Attitude of auto drivers however is directly related to its interiors.If you spot a rick with the driver's body leaning out of the rick waist up from one side and feet jutting out from the other side,Himmesh blaring loudly on the stereo you are forewarned ..stay out!! If  you have no choice,then give instructions,sit in the centre,grab your puja ki maala and chant away with your eyes wide open and feet ready to jump out in case of emergency.Do not forget to thank your stars in case you reach safely.They will protect you the next time over too.

If you have a chhora Ganga kinaare waala for a driver,you will be entertained with Bhojpuri music,his take on various topics ranging from potholes on the roads to rising petrol prices to politics in his 'desh' .If you are a patient  and an interactive audience,you might be promptly handed over the last one rupee generally not meant to be returned (chhutta nahin hai!!)

If you are not jinxed as I definitely am,you will succeed in flagging an auto in Mumbai almost as soon as you step on the street but God forbid if you are jinxed,live in the wrong locality,wrong direction,are seeking a rick at wrong time of the day,or simply do not catch the auto driver's  fancy,you have to be patient,very patient..and wait for your turn and your rick.Someone will take pity and oblige.

Having said that,there are a few tips and ideal passenger behaviour if you need autos for your daily commute:
1.Practice meditation daily.
2.Do not look guilty or apologetic if you are heading for a 'generally rejected' route, instead,
3.Project positive body language,smile warmly,greet,try to be busy on phone,pretend taking down notes on paper and just hop inside.After travelling some distance,if asked,gently break the news.Please  note that this trick does not guaruntee considerate response from the driver and you might be in for a rude shock,a sudden jolt and halt of the rick in its tracks almost as if the machine also protested violently saying,"Are yoy crazy? Juhu at this hour??I am not budging mate!!"
4.Remember,dialling RTO helpline does not HELP.I have, in my frustration have pretended to lodge a complaint sitting in one such auto while the driver gave me impatient ,'kahaan kahaan se aa jaate hain' kind of looks from the rear view mirror.
5.In case of the above,gather your leftover dignity and step down when told .One good thing about Mumbai,no one has the time to notice your humiliation.
6.If you are constantly being overlooked,ignored or rejected by the rikshaw drivers,change residence!Its simpler.
7.If you are a regular autorikshaw user,by now your bones are already loose in their sockets.You must be already trained to hold your joints by tightening all your muscles after taking a deep breath and continuing to do so till you reach destination and that is when you heave a sigh of relief and gently release your tension mental as well as physical.
8.Keep your cool when you see your rick  driver extend his leg outside to touch a neighbouring running auto,he is just saying hello to an old friend .
9.Keep a doctor's checklist ready for reference,you will need..
     -orthopaedic surgeon for your rattling bones,
     -physiotherapist for strained muscles and ligaments,
     -chest physician,
     -cardiologist and psychiatrist for those heart- in- the- mouth moments,(pun intended)
      -dentist after those over the speedbreaker jolts when your lower jaw drops and then crashes against your upper jaw leading to cracked tooth syndrome.
10.Suppose your auto topples over,do not panic , come up slowly and emerge out of the  'open to sky' side of the auto so people can see you (you will be surrounded by a whole lot of them by then) ,give them a 'thumbs up' and you will be extracted within no time.
11.If you have nowhere to go with your girlfriend / boyfriend,try an autorickshaw...they are relatively  safe .There is just a  little risk of the auto driver looking through the rearview mirror ,but then ,who cares!!!!

Long live, Mumbai auto!