Thursday, June 16, 2011

kahin par kuch toh...

कहीं पर सुखा होगा ,कहीं पर सावन होगा ,

जहाँ पर  बीज होगा,वहीँ पर अंकुर होगा... 

          
              कही पर डेरा होगा,कहीं बसेरा होगा,

              जहाँ पर रैन कटेगी वहीँ सवेरा होगा..


कहीं पर मिलना होगा,कहीं बिछड़ना होगा,

जहाँ पर दरिया होगा वही पर संगम होगा ...


             कहीं अकेला होगा,कहीं पर साथी होगा,

             जहाँ पर दुनिया होगी वहीँ पर मेला होगा .....


कहीं पर खुशियाँ होंगी ,कहीं पर मातम होगा,

जहाँ पर वीरान होगा वहीँ पर मरुस्थल होगा ...


             कहीं पर डोली होगी, कहीं पर अर्थी होगी, 

             जहाँ पर कन्धा होगा ,वहीँ सहारा होगा...

Saturday, June 11, 2011

THE LAST THOUGHT ON HER MIND BEFORE SHE DIED-HER CHILD OR HERSELF?

My clinic assistant followed me inside my cabin,waited till I settled down and blurted out,-"You know what,Gee, your patient ,is no more".
Me--Are you serious,THE chanchal Gee!Why,HOW?Wait a minute,wasn't she scheduled to be in today!?"
ASST.-"That is how we came to know.We called her up,and her sister Ell gave us the news."They don't know whether it was suicide or murder.

     Gee's mother worked as domestic help for me years back,that's how I knew them.Gee and her sister Ell tagged along with the mother daily.Gee,a naughty 12 year old,was a complete contrast to her sister Ell.Since I  was very strict about not engaging minors' help and they had nowhere to go,both would spend time with Cookie my daughter while their mother finished her chores. Ell would sit quietly in her place and Gee would be a handful to contain in one place."Didi bore ho rahi hoon,please aaj jhaadu kar doon"? she would ask knowing fully well that I would refuse.Then she would sneak into the kitchen to ask her mother if she could help..or if nothing else she would just explore around asking thousand questions.She was naughty,smart,intelligent,very aware,jugaadu,and above all eager to learn.She was a positive person certainly not the kind who would commit suicide.

I shifted and lost touch with them for years till she surfaced one day at my clinic.She was a smartly dressed woman ,a trained beautician,was married and a mother too.S he came for her regular check-ups and treatments off and on and continuously jabbered .I was used to switching off in the middle of her monologues..Now I regret,feel guilty..what if I could have had a clue about what she was going through...did she hint anytime,and I missed...
No point in reliving the past ,I know ..

   Her  in-Laws said it was self immolation in a fit of rage over some  petty issue between husband and wife but the parents insisted that the husband set her on fire after the bitter fight.She got tired of giving him minute by minute account of her whereabouts and a bitter fight ensued leading to the tragedy.The husband too sustained burns in the scuffle  and passed away a week later.Their only son,a 5 year old was scarred for life,not physical but the deeper kind...the invisible emotional scars.
 
Till the parents were alive, both set of grandparents vied  for the child's attention,and now suddenly he is yearning  for theirs.No one wants a lifetime liability...poverty does that to people I guess.I wonder about the child though,
-will he blame his parents to have left him in this situation, to face the whole world..
-will he be bitter in life and think of his parents as selfish,reckless individuals..
-will he be exploited in any way by relatives under the guise of  support...
-will he always wonder as to what was his fault in the whole situation,right from the decision of his parents to bring him into this world till the time they suddenly decided to leave him alone...

So what is it that drives people to be so reckless in their actions? .What is that last thought that pushes people off the edge--when nothing else matters BUT that decision to end- all.?Do people who survive that moment,repent ...

Lots of questions,scores of explanations in the medical science but no inroads into the mind of the person standing at the edge...one who can see nothing beyond NOTHINGNESS.
      

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

THE DAILY CHALLENGES ..AND MY COPEBOOK

Took time off on Saturday to be around cookie(daughter) for her exams.While she poured over her books,I poured over mine in between demands of tang,coffee,sandwich,'press- my- head 'etc.Eleven books down and I am on my twelfth which is taking longer than expected what with cookie's  exams,muffin's (son's) vacations and hence boredom ,maids on leave,packed appointments at workplace etc.How am I coping?? Not so bad with all my hair in place I should say.
In my race with myself to read more,I tried reading two three titles simultaneously but such attempts slowed down the reading part and robbed me of reading pleasure..so not my cup of tea, I say.Somehow I  like to pick up something to read,and prefer to keep it back on the shelf ,once done ,line- one to the -end.....kind of keeps me connected to the author and the subject.
My daily challenges sound benign but they are enough to keep you away from any thing that needs concentration,reading is one of them.

 As if I was not time -challenged enough,muffin's school decided to start earlier this year ,that means no late nights which are so essential ( any book-worm will agree).Sigh, will have to reschedule my timetable!Again!!

 Sometimes it is the shrill doorbell that brings you back to the harsh reality from the picturesque setting of your new novel,or the cook bangs the door  just when the TDH guy in the book is in the middle of a romantic interlude .

If you are enjoying a horror story,the haunted house you are exploring with bated breath,will come alive in reality with the sharp ,shrill ,ear-splitting scream belonging to Cookie as Muffin just threw a  rubber lizard at her.The next hour is devoted to them to ensure no one gets killed.

 Juggling all of that and much more through the day,night time is the best time or so I thought until Muffin broke the news of his changed school timings !!

In the midst of mad morning rush Muffin mumbled something through  mouthful of Chocos today,something to the tune of  hate  -hindi-talk -come- school-bus.I did not pay much attention as my yoga teacher was demanding mine(attention) at that very precise moment sitting idle on her mat waiting for me to finish my chores. I realized it  when the maid called to inform about the missing muffin well past his return time.Damn!!was I supposed to pick him up?Mad rush ensued again...call,coordinate,pacify,run..and 40 minutes of confusion later there he was at home safe and sound..

 Three days into school and I walk like a zombie already.

HIGH TIME FOR A FRESH TIMETABLE.



Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Happy to be part of South Asian Challenge 2011

Entered the South Asian Challenge 2011 today.I know I am very late in doing so but considering my voracious appetite for books,I know I will not do bad and will soon catch up.Next few months are going to be fun as I will mostly be reading books by South Asian authors ,my favorites anyways.

  I wandered through many book blogs before I stumbled upon S.Krishna's blog  and loved every bit of it.Taking up the challenge was kind of natural progression so here I am...

  My list is almost ready and so is the sequence .Excited?You bet.Wish me happy reading guys!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Parenting teenagers!! Of Missing things and Missing beings!

Parenting a teenager can be quite a daunting task as most will agree.There can be daily doses of amazement, joy and frustrations.All parents to teenagers (PTT) suddenly start feeling the heat morning after their 'child's 12th birthday.Certain two way things overnight take the one way route like,
Communication-
                                                                courtesy google images
Teenagers are walnuts, you get habituated to talking to walls and dealing with nuts and them being tough nuts to crack comes free.You waiiit for your turn to be given a ear which has been hijacked by a headphone or an earphone or a mobile phone with a phony friend at the other end  or all of them at once.So the moment you feel even a fraction of a second that the ear is devoid of any  of  these attachments,you shoot from your mouth-brush your teeth,have bath,change into something nice,and HI THIS IS MOM REMEMBER!!!
Do not wait for any response from the other end ,it is not happening in this world of teens literally and otherwise.
Traffic-One way and that is out mostly and in very rarely in.Inward traffic, singular or plural in terms of company means,immediate plans for an outward trip,urgent need to use the loo or kitchen, and of course dire need of cash .
Cash-PTT has to be extra vigilant in case of the last need as cash flow acquires a directly proportional trait - outwards mostly.It is perfectly normal to feel incompetent  financially (amongst other things) during this period.You might actually start earning more to cope with the demand and that certainly is an advantage, whose??...your guess is as good as mine!
          In addition to the above,the frequent and extended trips to the restroom is like an endless wait for the PTT.One trip ends and the other begins.Every PTT learns to grab the attention of  the teen sometime after  a few foiled attempts.A patient teenager(they exist I swear!!) once clarified that the  term 'rest room' was coined by a teenager and that they were just that,-rest -rooms to rest the nerves after the naggings of  the world in general and PTT in particular.Rest rooms are  perfect havens for, chatting with friends,cooing to girlfriend/boyfriend ,listening to earth-shattering music,and the last one really had me ROTFL ..thinking (do they ,really!?? )
           Every PTT should get used to strange figures and faces inhabiting his /her house.They  usually mean no serious harm.Just stay focussed and hug and kiss your own sleeping teen in the morning for your own safety.A sleeping teen is an angel and you are guaranteed to be rewarded with return affectionate gestures only in this form .An awake teenager acquires a walnut form if you know what I mean. A cooperative,patient,eager to listen ,talkative teenager means only one thing..a big dent into your resources and it is now your turn to switch into the walnut mode.Efficacy into this mode is directly proportional to resiliency.Best of luck!
                                                                       courtesy google images
  No attempt to be cool in your teen's eyes will ever make you cool.So and so's PTT will always be cooler than you .Stop trying,you are better off being uncool.Get habituated to filling your kitchen larder,wardrobe,cosmetic shelves and of course cash boxes without cribbing.I once made the mistake of cribbing aloud in front of my dad as to how I was fed up of forever missing things in my house .."You'll wish there was someone to use things after a decade. Its much  better than missing beings beta! Soak in the experience while you can ,once they spurt wings and fly away,you'll yearn for these very things in life."he said without looking up from his morning paper.
          How true and how painful!!
            
                
        
        




Saturday, April 30, 2011

The W(hole ) toilet story !

I am reposting this last years post  after watching  Satyamev Jayate this morning where a lot was discussed about manual scavenging in rural India. I end the post with what I saw on my recent visit to a mall in Bangkok. 

Dad called to inform that our ancestral home in Rajasthan was sold .He was sad,and his voice coveyed so.It took me back to my lone trip to that house in childhood .Dad was excited like a school boy,he had springs in his shoes and if normally we could'nt keep pace with him,you can imagine the scene that day.
It was a typical village house in all other aspects except that it stretched vertically more than horizontally.We were welcomed by Prem kakaji and before we could absorb the details of the  courtyard and the circular living rooms he announced that the weary travellers were free to freshen up before tea could be served and added with a smile that the toilets were on the second floor.
Second floor ! and we  ran up the stairs two at a time , falling over each other in the race to reach the second floor toilets.What is so special about second floor toilets ,one would ask? The mystery will unfold after I elaborate a little on the toilet scene of rural India .

As kids on our annual vacation to Rajasthan we would extensively travel in scorching summers to remote rural areas with our parents.We loved every bit of those explorations except ,you guessed it right,-toilets!
Toilets were built at the extreme end of the huge property .Running from the ancestral Haveli on the sandy grounds, down to the toilet cubicles was strenuous . We hated the exercise and preferred holding back!
That every morning struggle would leave us constipated by the end of our trip and back home in the city, we thought of our toilets as pure luxury . The parched landscape also meant paucity of water and hence no taps were to be found inside and one had to carry a small bucket of water from the 'Haud' . Every morning people ran across the sand balancing a bucket of water to relieve their systems .
Once  we  reached the toilet complex,what followed next was a  series of forced coughing sounds emanating from the several occupied cubicles indicating human presence. So one  coughed and someone coughed back and he  moved on to the next till his cough met with silence  and that is where he was supposed to enter.

The cubicle was adorned with two rough, slipper shaped stones to rest your feet  and in the center was a huge hole .The  street below could be seen or worse even, a grunting pig or a sweeping scavenger would insert his shovel beneath  while you were busy . The trained staff however, kept the area very clean and I do not remember the whole experience as  'disgusting' as it may sound now.
The w(hole)experience made one  feel extremely vulnerable.Our daily wish in those days-- kaash! the human excretory system did not have to work on a daily basis.Now praying and all is a pious thing to do and toilet is the last place one would feel like praying but all my prayers were saved for the toilet part those days..
God please let me not feel the pressure today,
or...
God give me strength to control the pressure etc..
That pretty much was the toilet scene in the seventies in rural Rajasthan.

Coming back to that particular trip to the ancestral home,it seemed to be a pleasant surprise .A second floor toilet,wow!!Jostling ,elbowing each other we ran up to be greeted by a very nice carved door .The eldest cousin managed to push himself inside ahead of others and seconds later we heard him laugh like a mad man. Moments later he came out . Curiosity took over our frames and we all peeped in only to be greeted by the all familiar sight of  the famous 'hole'. It dropped all the way from second floor straight to the ground. It was kind of concealed from direct vision but nevertheless ,a hole.
So much for the great expectations!!
         
            ______________________________XXXX_________________________


In complete contrast to what I had described a year ago , is what follows next in this post.Last week while shopping at the Terminal 21 mall in Bangkok,I entered the wash room with my daughter and took my own sweet time coming out of the cubicle.This is what I saw and this is what caught my attention..

     The Hi-tech toilet bowl complete with numerous settings on a control panel was awesome to say the least.I am not ashamed to admit that I tried every thing displayed there and that is what kept me engaged for a long time.I also noticed that everyone who went in took longer than usual and came out smiling.                                                        


                                                     
                                      Particularly liked the temperature control and dry options.


                                       
There was no room for confusion , a nice panel with instructions to use the system was strategically placed on the wall.
                                                      Images- curtesy Google, as my pics were hastily taken and not sharp.   

 Once outside the loo, I was so lost in my total admiration of the basin area  beautifully done up in a unique marine theme that I almost entered the men's loo on my way out . Daughter's quick tug at my arm saved me from the embarrassment.

You may laugh at me but I had a detailed 'dekho' at all the wash rooms after that on each floor and I am glad I did that in addition to the retail therapy at the mall.

Two different worlds exist and I am  a part of both .Can I make a difference at my level to improve the inhuman conditions, still very much a part of every day lives of millions of Indians ?Writing will help? Talking about it ..? I do not know.. looking at the corruption,I am sceptical of  giving monetary aid , I feel that I am afraid of venturing out on the ground  leaving my comfortable space behind. Work may only be an excuse.
That definitely does not make me feel good about myself.
                                                                                                                      

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Cockroaches on Mumbai roads-our very own autorickshaws...

What do I miss most when I travel abroad?You will be surprised ,its the cockroaches on the Mumbai roads-our very own autorikshaws ,auto  or ricks as we prefer calling them .Autos have always fascinated me .They just spill over and crawl all over the city roads like cockroaches and there is no pest control to take care of them!We all have a love - hate relationship with them ;when you are not in them,you hate them and when you are personal-transport- challanged and have managed to convince one of them to do your route,you love them!!

The interiors of autorikshaws is a subject in itself for serious research.They can sport a Raja babu style dhinchak interior or a simple,no frills attached interior.

Attitude of auto drivers however is directly related to its interiors.If you spot a rick with the driver's body leaning out of the rick waist up from one side and feet jutting out from the other side,Himmesh blaring loudly on the stereo you are forewarned ..stay out!! If  you have no choice,then give instructions,sit in the centre,grab your puja ki maala and chant away with your eyes wide open and feet ready to jump out in case of emergency.Do not forget to thank your stars in case you reach safely.They will protect you the next time over too.

If you have a chhora Ganga kinaare waala for a driver,you will be entertained with Bhojpuri music,his take on various topics ranging from potholes on the roads to rising petrol prices to politics in his 'desh' .If you are a patient  and an interactive audience,you might be promptly handed over the last one rupee generally not meant to be returned (chhutta nahin hai!!)

If you are not jinxed as I definitely am,you will succeed in flagging an auto in Mumbai almost as soon as you step on the street but God forbid if you are jinxed,live in the wrong locality,wrong direction,are seeking a rick at wrong time of the day,or simply do not catch the auto driver's  fancy,you have to be patient,very patient..and wait for your turn and your rick.Someone will take pity and oblige.

Having said that,there are a few tips and ideal passenger behaviour if you need autos for your daily commute:
1.Practice meditation daily.
2.Do not look guilty or apologetic if you are heading for a 'generally rejected' route, instead,
3.Project positive body language,smile warmly,greet,try to be busy on phone,pretend taking down notes on paper and just hop inside.After travelling some distance,if asked,gently break the news.Please  note that this trick does not guaruntee considerate response from the driver and you might be in for a rude shock,a sudden jolt and halt of the rick in its tracks almost as if the machine also protested violently saying,"Are yoy crazy? Juhu at this hour??I am not budging mate!!"
4.Remember,dialling RTO helpline does not HELP.I have, in my frustration have pretended to lodge a complaint sitting in one such auto while the driver gave me impatient ,'kahaan kahaan se aa jaate hain' kind of looks from the rear view mirror.
5.In case of the above,gather your leftover dignity and step down when told .One good thing about Mumbai,no one has the time to notice your humiliation.
6.If you are constantly being overlooked,ignored or rejected by the rikshaw drivers,change residence!Its simpler.
7.If you are a regular autorikshaw user,by now your bones are already loose in their sockets.You must be already trained to hold your joints by tightening all your muscles after taking a deep breath and continuing to do so till you reach destination and that is when you heave a sigh of relief and gently release your tension mental as well as physical.
8.Keep your cool when you see your rick  driver extend his leg outside to touch a neighbouring running auto,he is just saying hello to an old friend .
9.Keep a doctor's checklist ready for reference,you will need..
     -orthopaedic surgeon for your rattling bones,
     -physiotherapist for strained muscles and ligaments,
     -chest physician,
     -cardiologist and psychiatrist for those heart- in- the- mouth moments,(pun intended)
      -dentist after those over the speedbreaker jolts when your lower jaw drops and then crashes against your upper jaw leading to cracked tooth syndrome.
10.Suppose your auto topples over,do not panic , come up slowly and emerge out of the  'open to sky' side of the auto so people can see you (you will be surrounded by a whole lot of them by then) ,give them a 'thumbs up' and you will be extracted within no time.
11.If you have nowhere to go with your girlfriend / boyfriend,try an autorickshaw...they are relatively  safe .There is just a  little risk of the auto driver looking through the rearview mirror ,but then ,who cares!!!!

Long live, Mumbai auto! 

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...